Solo parent : the guide to help and procedures (it's about time 🙂 )

by | July 20, 2022 | Social Aid, Legal | 0 comments

Solo parent, you're not alone anymore! 👋

Are you looking for answers (concrete ones, if possible) to all your questions? What if you could find the help and advice you need NOW, that would be fine... (no kidding 🙂 ).

Let's get straight to the point: here we gather all the available help and useful steps for single parents. This guide is intended to help you avoid scrolling for hours after yet another hectic day.

Because we know from experience that as a single parent, your time and energy are priceless.

Raising a child alone, being a single parent family, means seeing one's mental load 🤯 the problems to manage alone, in all circumstances, double. While the relays, the means and the support decrease.

👉 Whether you are separated, or divorced parents, a single mom, single mother, a solo dad, widower, or a solo mom by choice, this guide is designed for you.

Here you will find answers, tips and useful resources for single parents, classified by theme:

Financial aid 💰
Housing solution 🏠
Expenses & Childcare👩👦
Separation & Legal Advice 👩🏻💼

It's all there, and we help you sort it out 🙂


👉 Can 't find the precise answer to your current concern in this article ?

Our experts are here to help you. 

In 1 click, book a session in video or by phone with a professional, for a concrete answer 100% personalized, without waiting, from 7 am to 11 pm:

Online Lawyer
Online Social Worker
Online Psychologist
Parenting Coach
Life Coach


👉 Instead, you're looking for tips that relate to parenting, your organization, or rebuilding for your new life as a solo parent:

Relationship with your child, teenager (😬)
Organization, daily life, vacations
Professional life 💻 and love life ❤️
Psychological support 🧠

Our next post: "Solo Mom: 10 (helpful 🙃tips for moving forward!"). Subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss it! Here we go!

1. Single parent aid: financial aid for a single mother, a single parent


Except when we decide to make a baby alone, we rarely plan to build a couple, to have a child, to raise it alone. Separation, suffered or necessary, is often a difficult choice. 😐

However, you have to deal with reality: accept it, move forward as best you can, for yourself and for your child. You have to accept it, move forward as best you can, for yourself and for your child, and quickly reorganize yourself and reinvent your life. The time it takes to find one's rhythm, one can feel a little lost, alone in the world, among all the steps to take.

👉 Let's take a breath, and take it one step at a time!

Spoiler: it's mathematical, when you become a single parent following a separation, divorce, or bereavement, the impact on your finances is significant. Rent, electricity bills, groceries, daily expenses are doubled.

Becoming a single parent, depending on the situation, is not necessarily synonymous with poverty. But it is a reality for many of you: 25% of single-parent families are affected by poverty. You need to review your budget, and all support is welcome.

👉 But if you've ever typed "single mom helps" into Google, you may have broken out in a few cold sweats: it's going every which way! 🤯 😅

Let's take stock! 👇


1.1 Assistance to single parents: ASF and PAJE

Single parent allowance: family support allowance 

What help is there for a single mother? A single dad? You may have already heard about the Single Mother's Allowance, and you are wondering if you can qualify.

Contrary to other aid, the asf is not subject to income conditions, and is not taxable.

👉 What are the requirements for receiving the SAT?

To receive it, you must live alone with your child, with little or no help from the other parent:

  • the child is not solvent, or no support has been set by the family court judge (JAF).
  • a pension has been established, but it is not paid regularly, or not in full.

You may also qualify for the ASF if your child has not been recognized by the other parent, if you are a widow or widower, or if you have taken in a child.

👉 Asf Caf: until what age? 

The family support allowance is paid until the child is 20 years old.
Please note: If your child is employed, his/her salary must be less than 892.25 euros.

👉 Asf and alimony

If the pension paid by the other parent is less than 118.20 euros per month, a differential allowance may be granted (up to a limit of 118.20 euros).

👉 Asf without judgment

If no child support has been determined by a court order, the parent in charge of the child has 4 months to apply to the family court judge. The asf will be paid during this time.

👉 Unpaid alimony and Asf

A pension has been fixed but is not paid, or not in full, by the parent concerned. The Caf can then initiate a procedure so that you receive it.

It does it through the intermediary of the Agency of recovery and intermediation of the alimony: ARIPA.
In the meantime the caf will advance you the asf.

To learn more about Aripa: see 4.3 "Alimony".

👉 Asf amount 

The 2022 amount of the family support allowance is 118.20 euros.
Note: If you have taken in a child deprived of both parents, the amount of the asf is 157.57 euros.

➡️ Applying for an ASF

👉 If your child is under 3 years old: the PAJE

The childcare benefit is means-tested from pregnancy to the child's third birthday. It is made up of 4 parts:

📍A birth grant
📍A basic allowance, paid monthly.
📍The parental leave: if you wish to suspend your professional activity.
📍Le complément libre choix de mode de garde

(see next chapter: childcare assistance for working single mothers)

➡️ A ll about the PAGE

The 2022 amount of the family support allowance is 118.20 euros.

1.2 RSA increased for single parents

If you are a single mother without a job or a single father without an activity, you can claim the increased RSA (or single parent RSA).

👉 Who is entitled to the increased Rsa?

The conditions to benefit from it:

  • be over 25 years old
  • be looking for a job
  • assume sole responsibility for one or more children (no or little financial participation from the other parent)
  • be single, divorced, widowed, or pregnant, and not living in a declared or permanent relationship
  • meet certain resource requirements

👉 Rsa increased amount 2022

How much does a single mother get?
The lump sum for the rsa for a single mother or a single father with one child is :

* 985 euros with one child
* 1231 with 2 children
* 1478 with 3 children
* 246 euros per additional child.
Note: Your other resources (family allowances, housing allowances, etc.) will be deducted to calculate this amount.

➡️ You can estimate the amount of your single parent RSA with the single parent RSA calculation simulator

👉 When does the increased Rsa end? 

The RSA increased for a single parent can be paid for 12 months (within an 18-month period following the event or the request for assistance). If you have a child under the age of 3, the increase can be paid until the child's 3rd birthday.

Note: In order to ensure that the allocation procedures do not delay payment, advances may be granted by the department.

1.3 Who receives the CAF in case of alternating custody?

Caf, alternating custody and family allowances


If you are a single parent of at least 2 children, you may be entitled to family allowances. You should know that in case of alternating residence, these allowances can be shared between the 2 parents.

1.4 Help for single working mothers: the increased activity allowance 

👉 Solo parent and activity bonus: what help is there for a single mom?

The "Prime d'activité" is a supplement paid by the CAF for people who have a professional activity. It depends on the household income and is not paid automatically. You have to apply for it! The basic amount is 563 euros.

For a single parent (separated, divorced, single or widowed), the amount of this bonus can be increased. The increase, granted for 12 months, amounts to approximately 130%.

The application must be made within 18 months of the separation or widowhood.
Please note: The single parent activity bonus is not taxable.

➡️ Estimate my activity bonus

1.5 Single parent: a helping hand for the vacations! 🏝

👉 Okay, so your budget is focused on the essentials. Yet, who needs a break more than a single parent?

Or to be able to offer a nice vacation to his little one 🙂

  • Vacation vouchers from the CAF
    The "vacation vouchers" aim to promote access to local leisure activities, and are intended for children aged 6 to 17. They can be used in leisure centers, leisure parks, sports or cultural associations.


  • Family vacation assistance
    The family vacation assistance (AVF) is a financial contribution from the CAF for a vacation stay: rental or camping. Your destination must be labeled Vacaf (more than 3600 destinations throughout France). The stay must be for a minimum of 7 days and a maximum of 15 days. Depending on your family quota, the CAF will pay for 35 to 75% of the stay. The annual ceiling is 1200 euros.

Pretty good news, right? 😎

1.6 Supplementary health assistance for single parents

You do not benefit from the Universal Health Coverage because your income is just above the required limit? You may be entitled to a "health check" granted by the Caisse d'Assurance Maladie. The amount can be deducted from your contribution to your complementary health insurance.

You could also benefit from a waiver of advance payment (for the part covered by the health insurance).

➡️ Read more

1.7 Single Parent Tax

Another advantage for single parents: the addition of a half-tax share on your tax return . To benefit from this, you must check the "T" box for single parents in the "Personal Information" section for an online return, or "Box B" for a paper return.

Your child will thus represent a full share instead of a half share. The number of tax shares affects your quotient and therefore the calculation of your tax, which will be reduced.

👉 Single Parent Alternating Custody Tax

If you have set up an alternating residence, your additional half share will be shared between the two separated parents . Each parent can declare themselves as a single parent, and will be granted ¼ of an additional share per child.


2. Getting childcare when you are a single parent 👶

There is no room for improvisation when you are a single working mother. First of all, in terms of organization: managing to make your schedule coincide with that of the crèche or after-school care center is quite a challenge!

And what about single parents who work nights or staggered hours 🙃

😷 Leo has a fever, the car refuses to start: one grain of sand is all it takes to jam the machine 😱. While grandparents and friends can be your saviors from time to time, you need reliable and convenient childcare.

Then, the crux of the matter: the cost of childcare.
Working to pay half of your salary to a nanny: not the idea 😬. What is the rate of an in-home nanny? How to find a reliable nanny? How to calculate the rate of a childminder?

What are the tips, aids and alternative solutions for reducing childcare costs?

We tell you everything 👇


2.1 AGEPI employment center: childcare assistance for single parents

👉 AGEPI Pôle Emploi : I'm going back to work

Are you returning to work or starting a training program? If you are raising a child under the age of 10 on your own, you may be eligible for theChildcare Allowance for Single Parents .

👉 Who can benefit from AGEPI?

  • be registered with Pôle Emploi
  • the job must be a permanent contract or a fixed-term contract of at least 3 months (including part-time)
  • you do not receive unemployment benefit (or any other benefit that is less than or equal to the minimum Return to Work Allowance)
  • you have not received the AGEPI in the previous 12 months
  • Your request must be made within 30 days of hiring or the start of the job training.

👉 What is the amount of single parent Pôle Emploi assistance?

The amount of this childcare assistance is a lump sum, paid only once for a period of 12 months. It is calculated according to the number of hours worked per week and the number of children under 10 years of age for whom you are the sole caregiver.

  • If you work less than 15 hours per week, or less than 64 hours per month: 170 euros for one child, 25 euros per additional child (up to a total of 220 euros for large families: 3 or more children).
  • If you work from 15 to 35 hours per week: 400 euros for the 1st child, then 60 euros for each additional child (up to a maximum of 520 euros for families with 3 or more children).


👉 How do I apply for AGEPI?

You can send your request to your Pôle Emploi advisor, or fill out the agepi form on your personal Pôle Emploi space.

➡️ Request AGEPI

Note: If the children concerned by the request for assistance are not enrolled in school, you will have to provide proof: work contract for a childminder, documents of enrolment in a crèche.

Good to know: You are also concerned by this aid if you are a creator or a business owner. The agepi is not taxable.

👉 I need a punctual childcare for my job search: the MyCigogne service 

Pôle Emploi and the CNAF have joined forces to offer a short-term childcare service to job seekers. Your CV has been selected and you have been called for a job interview?

The MaCigogne service helps you find a place in a childcare facility (crèche, daycare center, etc.) near your home.

  • Children from 0 to 3 years old
  • Duration: from ½ day to 3 days maximum.

It can help out! 👌

👉 Contact your job center counselor to learn more.

2.2 CAF childcare assistance for single parents

2.2.1 Parental leave or PreParE (within the framework of the paje)

What if you were to babysit your child yourself? 🤔

Full or part-time, for a few months or longer, you would love to spend time with your son or daughter. Take the time to watch him or her grow up 😍

There is an aid to keep your baby yourself (until 3 years old). The "Prestation Partagée d'Education de l'Enfant" is part of the Paje. It is a financial aid granted to the parent who decides to stop or reduce his professional activity to take care of his child.

👉 Who is eligible for the PreParE caf?

  • your child must be under 3 years old
  • you have totally or partially interrupted your activity
  • you have worked for 2 years (i.e. validated 8 quarters of old age contributions). The length of time taken into account varies according to the number of dependent children.
    For one child, the 2 years preceding the request are considered. Both parents can request this assistance.

👉 PreParE Paje what amount?

👉 How long does the PreParE payment last?

For a single parent with one child, the benefit is paid for 1 year .

Good to know: If you have at least 2 dependent children, you can benefit from the extended PréParE. From the 2nd child on, it can be extended until the child is 3 years old. If you are the sole provider of at least 3 children, you are entitled to the increased PreParE. The amount is 663.58 euros per family. The increased PreParE is paid until the child is 1 year old.

Note: You cannot receive this assistance if you are receiving unemployment benefits.

➡️ Do a PreParE simulation

2.2.2 The free choice of childcare supplement (Cmg)

Like parental leave, the childcare supplement is a parental financial aid included in the PAJE's global offer. This financial aid for licensed nannies is intended to alleviate the childcare costs associated with the remuneration of a licensed childcare provider. In other words, the Cmg helps you pay your nanny, by reimbursing you part of her salary 🙂 .

Its amount depends on the number and age of the child and your resources. For 2022, the net categorical salary of 2020 is taken into account.

👉 Please note: for a single parent, the limits below are increased by 40%.

👉 Complément libre choix mode de garde until what age?

Your child must be between 0 and 6 years old.

👉 Conditions to benefit from it

  • employ a licensed childminder
  • OR use an authorized structure
  • the gross salary must not exceed 54.25 euros per day and per child
  • your child must be in care for at least 16 hours per month

👉 Cmg amount (for 1 child)

A minimum of 15% of the cost of childcare remains the responsibility of the family. The Caf also pays 100% of the social security contributions for the employment of a licensed childminder and 50% for the employment of a home-based childminder. cmg amount after 3 years: you can claim it but the amounts are less important (see table).

👉 You employ a childminder or home care provider


You call upon a structure: family day care, micro-crèche...

👉 Please note: for a single parent the amount of Cmg is increased by 30%.

It is also increased by 10% if your child is looked after for at least 25 hours on Sundays or public holidays, or between 10pm and 6am. You must make a declaration as an employer on pajemploi Urssaf.

➡️ Caf simulation childcare assistance

🤔 Need a more specific, or personalized, answer for your welfare application?

👉 To see clearly, make concrete progress on your administrative file:
in 1 click book a session in video with one of our
Online social worker from 7am to 11pm (professional & smiling!)

2.3 Sharing a nanny when you are a single parent family 😎

Another option to save money? We don't necessarily think about it, but employing a nanny for the care of children from two different families reduces the cost of childcare. In this case, your nanny will look after your children at both homes.

Let's be honest, this solution requires a little organization at the beginning, and a good understanding with the other family.
But it is also a way to reduce costs.

The second advantage is that your child will be mixing with other little friends!


2.4 Single parent: how to find a baby sitter?

Is Lola's nanny sick? Is Lola sick? 🤦♀️ Or do you need that night out with friends? 😅 In short you need to find an emergency babysitter, after school care, plan to have your toddler babysat for a few hours, or in the evening.

But you don't want to entrust your precious treasure to just any student! Even in a panic, you demand someone you can trust.


👉 Some tips

  • Word of mouth:
    Ask your friends, your colleagues, your entourage if they know a pearl (serious, experienced and nice 😁) to recommend you. Reassuring!


  • Your close circle:
    In your building or neighborhood, there may be a young woman (or young man), a grandmother, who inspires confidence and who could help you. The family circle (cousin, niece) can also be a lead. You can also try a small poster in the shops in your neighborhood.


Always plan an interview beforehand. Beyond your skills and reflexes in case of emergency, listen to your intuition. This meeting beforehand will also allow you to check if the current between your babysitter and your child is good.

P.S: You can also try the SOS on your social networks, a friend could be your savior 🙂

  • Babysitting websites

Would you rather use a professionalstructure that publishes babysitting classifieds?Some sites that have proven themselves 👌

👉 Kidlee is a smartsitting platform that offers "augmented" or enhanced babysitting! Inspired by Montessori methods, the babysitters selected by Kidlee are trained to offer fun and awakening activities to your child. Great! Bonus: Kidlee takes care of all the administrative part.
Discover our article on the smartsitting with Kidlee

👉 Momji offers full-time bilingual babysitters or nannies !

👉 Nanny Top : thesite allows you to find a babysitter near you, even in emergency. You have access to their availability, and can also place an ad.

👉Yoopies: Babysitters, in-home nannies or licensed childcare assistants, for regular, out-of-school or unexpected childcare!

👉Baby-sittor: A community and a platform to connect parents and babysitters.
The little plus: babysitters are recommended by other parents.

👉 Happy-sitters: For regular after school care! (from 3 years old). All sitters are pre-selected on interview, their administrative file is checked.

👉 Family-sphere


👉 Yoopala

2.5 Why not an au pair?

You work shifted hours - or not!-, and you have a spare room? Hiring an au pair when you are a single parent can be a nice, practical, economical, and humanly enriching solution 🤩

👉 How does it work?

You host, generally for a period of 1 year, a young girl or a young man from a foreign country, aged between 18 and 30. In exchange for a certain number of hours of childcare and household chores (35 hours on average), you offer room and board and a sum of "pocket money".

When you are a single parent, hiring an au pair offers a triple advantage:

  • savings
  • the practicality, or in case of unforeseen events (no need to run to the nanny in the morning)
  • a warm, family solution, rich cultural exchanges!


👉 How much does an au pair cost?

On average 80 euros per week. By employing an au pair, you can benefit from a reduction or tax credit.

👉 Some sites :







👉 Can 't find the precise answer to your current concern in this article ?

Our experts are here to help you. 

In 1 click, book a session in video or by phone with a professional, for a concrete answer 100% personalized, without waiting, from 7 am to 11 pm:

Online Lawyer
Online Social Worker
Online Psychologist
Parenting Coach
Life Coach

3. How do you find housing when you're a single mom or single dad? 👉 All the help 🏠


The number one emergency when you separate: find an apartment. Quickly. And well! 🏠
Problem: the real estate market is tight. It is already complicated to find an accommodation which answers our criteria when we have time and two pay slips.

So in a hurry, and presenting a single mom record, you may have some fears 😭.

A few fears for a landlord or a rental agency to accept our file. But also, and above all, the stress of managing to pay rent alone. Knowing that the landlords generally require that the income equals 3 times the amount of the rent.

Whether you want to rent or buy, as a single parent, you can't just jump on the first decent studio that comes along. You need 1 bedroom for your child, and hopefully for yourself as well. 🙏

(In reality, a significant portion of single parents use their living room as a bedroom, at least temporarily. 😕). You may have to sacrifice some criteria, but there is help available to find, and pay for, your new solo family home. 💪 🙂

3.1 Assistance for separated parents: APL - ALF - ALS

The first step in obtaining financial assistance once you have found your apartment is to apply for a housing allowance.

If your accommodation is subsidized, you can receive theAide Personnalisée au Logement (Personalized Housing Assistance). This is paid directly to the owner. Otherwise, you can claim theAllocation de Logement Familial, or theAllocation de Logement Social. The aid is paid the month after you move in.

👉 What are the requirements for receiving caf housing assistance?

The accommodation must be decent and meet certain health and safety standards. It is your principal residence and you pay rent. You must not be related to the owner.

👉 Housing allowance for single parent: how much?

The amount will be calculated based on your income, family composition and rent. It is recalculated every 3 months.

➡️ To make a simulation APL, or a simulation apl alternate custody caf, use the simulator housing caf

3.2 Application for social housing single mother

How to get social housing as soon as possible? If you are a single mother, you are part of the priority public.

👉 If your financial situation is (very) delicate, consulting a social worker could help speed up your application. Delays are often long, which is why it's important to apply early.

👉 To apply for social housing, contact the Town Hall of your Commune, or download the application form

Good to know: If you have been a victim of domestic violence, you have priority to obtain social housing for single mothers (you will have to attach to your application a receipt of the complaint filed at the police station)

😕 Running out of time, the time frame for an appointment with a social worker is too long?

👉Our online social workers are here to help you. In 1 click, book a video session: from your home, without waiting, from 7am to 11pm, and even on Saturdays 🙂

3.3 Security deposit & installation costs: the Fonds Solidarité Logement

A move involves unavoidable costs. Your budget is too tight and you need a helping hand? 😬 The FSL can give you 2 forms of assistance: grant or loan.

👉 F or expenses related to the move: security deposit, agency fees, or 1st rent, insurance or purchase of 1st necessity furniture.

👉 Expenses related to maintaining housing: gas, water, electricity bills, rent debts...

Good to know: you can be helped even if you are a homeowner.

👉 What are the income requirements?

Each FSL depends on the department concerned, and the conditions may differ.

👉 How do I apply?

You must contact a social worker, who will accompany you in your approach. You can go through the social service of your town hall, or contact directly a social worker Noö Family.

3.4 Roommate single parents: it was necessary to think about it! 💡

Still stuck in your housing search?

How to find an apartment after a separation?

We have one last suggestion for you, which might just be your solution 😉.

In recent years a new trend has developed: the single-parent roommate . And for good reason: the family roommate, or co-living, is a rental solution particularly suited to the single parent. In other words, you share an apartment with another single-parent family.

👉 Benefits:

  • Divided rent and bills 💸 = owners + reassured 🏠
  • Soften the feeling of isolation, which is very present when you become a single parent 🙂
  • Practical and supportive: being able to provide services to each other, especially for childcare 🤝
  • Preserving "family life" and bonding among children 👩👩👦👦

Of course, sharing an apartment implies accepting to share your home, and especially to get along with your co-family, which is more difficult at 30 or 40 years old than at 20! But the question deserves to be studied, doesn't it?

➡️ There are sites that specialize in roommates for single parents:



👉 Criteria to keep in mind when looking for housing as a single parent

  • Proximity to the other parent's home in the case of alternating custody
  • Whenever possible, stay close to your child's school and/or your workplace.
  • The proximity of public transport if you live in a big city, or on the contrary in the countryside.

👉 Some tips

If you are looking at real estate ads, for example on Le Bon Coin, think about activating an email alert. The properties are going fast!

Also remember to activate your network: friends, colleagues, social networks. Have a complete file in several copies for apartment visits. Would you like to become a homeowner? Find out more about the zero-interest loan, or the Social Accession Loan

4. What are the rights of separated parents: steps & legal advice 👩🏻💼

Whether you initiated the separation or were subjected to it, the legal steps make the breakup official. Emotionally, this step can be difficult to overcome 😔. For all that, it is crucial to try not to let your anger or sadness overtake you! Laws exist, and you can't just do anything.

Better to get the right information, and keep a cool head, or risk regretting an impulsive reaction 😡.

👉 You need a concrete & immediate answer, adapted to your current situation?

one of our family law attorneys, family law lawyer, in complete confidentiality: in 1 click, without moving, without waiting, from 7am to 11pm, even on Saturday!

4.1 Divorce, rupture of civil union, separation of unmarried parents

Separation - what to do first?

👉 Divorce proceedings

If you are married, it is mandatory that you hire a lawyer. Through him, you ask for the opening of the divorce procedure, which will be transmitted to the Family Court Judge. The spouses are then summoned to a conciliation hearing. If they do not reach an agreement, an order of non-conciliation is issued.

The lawyer of the plaintiff spouse then transmits within 3 months a writ of summons, delivered by bailiff to the other spouse. This step is followed by the hearings, at the end of which a judgment homologates the divorce and its consequences.

Divorce proceedings for fault 

The request can be made if your spouse has committed a violation of the duties and obligations of marriage. For example, in the case of adultery or domestic violence.

Divorce by mutual consent 

Divorce by mutual consent means that both spouses agree on the principle of divorce, and on the consequences involved. In case of an amicable procedure, both spouses can use the same lawyer, which reduces costs.

Since 2017, it is possible to divorce amicably without going before a judge. This choice, however, implies that they each be assisted by a lawyer.

Divorce for definitive alteration of the marital bond 

Your spouse has not committed a fault, but refuses to divorce. You can then ask for a divorce procedure for definitive alteration of the marital link. The condition: it is necessary that the common life was voluntarily broken for 2 years.

Divorce by acceptance of the principle of marriage breakdown 

Here, the spouses agree on the principle of separation, but not on its consequences. A hearing is then necessary. Both parties present their wishes to the judge, who determines the post-divorce terms.

👉 Breakdown of pacs

To dissolve a PACS, both partners must send to the City Hall that registered the PACS :

  • a joint letter by registered mail with return receipt,
  • a photocopy of their identity card.

➡️ Joint declaration of dissolution of a pacs form

If only one of the partners asks for the rupture of the pacs, he has to inform the other partner through a bailiff. This one will inform the partner and the town hall concerned.

👉 Separation of unmarried parents 

In this case, you do not have to take any special steps. We address the issue of non-judgment custody right after 👇🙂

4.2 Custody rights: what steps to take? Alternating custody, sole custody and visiting rights

Who must leave the home in the event of separation with children? How to ask for the modification of a maintenance allowance or the custody mode ? How to refer a case to the Family Court ? What are the mistakes to avoid and procedures to follow ?

The question of custody rights, visiting rights and accommodation rights will undoubtedly arise very quickly during the separation. There is no perfect solution, and several criteria must be taken into account:

  • the age of your child or children
  • the agreement with your ex-partner
  • your financial means and your respective availabilities
  • the distance between your homes...

In any case, it is the child's well-being that must remain at the heart of your concerns, beyond your differences with your ex . Not always easy! 😑 And here again, you have as separated parents rights, but also duties.

👉 Separation unmarried couple custody right 

In this case, you do not need to go through a family court judge.

  • You are unable to reach an agreement: You also have the option of going to the family court judge to have a judgment drawn up at any time. This also applies in the event of dissolution of the civil union.


👉 Father's right in case of separation without judgment 

Without a judgment, who has custody? Both parents share parental authority. You cannot decide on your own to prevent the other parent from having custody or visitation rights. In case of disagreement, you must refer the matter to the family court judge who will determine the child's residence.


👉 Following a separation which custody method to choose? What to do while waiting for the JAF judgment ?

If you can agree, you are free to choose the rhythm that suits you. Generally, 2 types of childcare are possible:

  • Alternating or shared custody: Each parent has equal custody rights, often alternating 1 week at one parent's home and 1 week at the other.
  • Sole custody and visiting and accommodation rights: primary custody is granted to one of the parents. The other parent retains visiting and accommodation rights: often half of the vacations and 1 weekend out of 2. The parent who does not have custody must pay support to the other parent.


👉 Without judgment the other parent decides to keep the child: what recourse?

If the other parent denies you custody or visitation rights, or fails to return the child at the agreed upon time, you can: decide to go to the Family Court and sue the other parent for failure to present the child, by filing a complaint at the police station. You can also send a letter to the nearest judicial court. An investigation will be opened.

To know : thehe non presentation of a minor child is an offence: article 227-5 of the Penal Code. Penalties incurred: 1 year of imprisonment and 15,000 euros fine.

Note:before taking legal action, you can try conciliation through a family mediator (see below).


👉 Who must leave the home in the event of separation with children?

If you are married:

If you have reached an agreement, put it in writing or have a lawyer draw up an amicable separation agreement. This document, which does not have the legal force of a court order, can nevertheless attest to the circumstances of the departure.

In case of emergency (for example, domestic violence), if your departure from the home cannot be postponed, it is advisable to file a report at the police station . This can be used as evidence in the event of an accusation of abandonment.

Common-law union :

For cohabitants, "abandonment of domicile" does not exist. However, in the absence of a judgment, both parents retain parental authority. You cannot prevent the other parent from seeing your child. If you disagree, it seems essential to seize the judge in family affairs.

While waiting for the judgment, if you leave the home with your child(ren), you must allow the other parent access and accommodation, and inform him/her of your new address.

On the other hand, if you leave the home alone, keep proof of your desire to maintain custody or visitation rights, and of your participation in the children's maintenance costs.

👉 How do I get to the jaf?

➡️ Form to bring a case before the family court judge.


🤯 Need help writing a jaf file, know what precautions to take in your situation?

Consult one of our family law lawyers in complete confidentiality: in one click, without moving, without waiting, from 7am to 11pm, even on Saturdays! For personalized answers specific to your story!


4.3 Single Parent Support

Note: in the case of divorce, the amount of alimony is determined during the divorce proceedings.

👉 How do you set up alternating custody support, or support without a judgment?

It is possible to ask for alimony even in case of alternating custody, for example if there is a big difference in income between the 2 parents. You can determine this support amicably, or file a JAF file.


➡️ Parental agreement form concerning the modalities of exercising parental authority and the contribution to the maintenance and education of the child

👉 Alimony amount for unmarried couple

In case of separation of unmarried couple, or separation without judgment, it can be fixed by the Family Court at any time after the separation.

👉 What are the steps for unpaid child support?

You are a single parent and the other parent does not pay or no longer pays child support? You can appeal to the CAF. It will then intervene to seize the amount of unpaid alimony and pay it to you, via the Agency for the Recovery and Intermediation of Alimony (ARIPA).

This support is automatic for pensions decided by judgment before March 2022, and will be paid until the child turns 20.

➡️ CIF alimony: appeal to the aripa


4.4 Family mediation: useful for single dads and moms




Are you in disagreement or conflict with your ex-partner over custody or support? Before starting legal proceedings, it is possible to call upon a family mediator to try to reach an amicable settlement.

Family mediation aims to preserve or restore a weakened family bond. It is based on listening and dialogue, and notably thanks to the presence of a qualified third party (the family mediator), in a neutral place.

👉Note: You can also turn to a family mediator to resolve conflicts related to grandparents and their grandchildren, or teens and their parents.

👉 To find a family mediator near your home, you can contact the CAF, or go through a family mediation association :

Association for Family Mediation

National Federation of Mediation and Family Spaces

You can also contact the judicial court or the court of appeal to obtain a list of approved family mediators.

4.5 Domestic violence - what to do?


In France, 213,000 women between the ages of 18 and 75 are subjected to violence by their partner or ex-partner each year. The term "conjugal violence" implies all the violence which is undergone within a couple pacsé, married, or in free union.

Domestic violence is prohibited and punishable by law, even if the couple is divorced or separated.

👉 What do we call "domestic violence?"

Different types of violence exist:

  • physical: assault and battery
  • sexual: rape and touching
  • psychological: threats, insults and moral harassment
  • economic: maintenance in dependence, deprivation of financial resources

    👉 What are the steps, the possible protective measures?

    Although laws and measures exist to protect you, it is not always easy to deal with violence from your spouse. Victims face sometimes complex problems, where fear, guilt, shame, a form of psychological control or financial dependence are mixed.

    The first step in escaping from this violence is to report it, and can be accompanied.

    👉 Who to contact in an emergency?

    Emergency numbers: in an emergency situation, for you or your children, call the police at 17 or 112.

    You can also communicate in writing by sending a free text message to 114, 24/7.

    For people who are deaf or hard of hearing, you can call 114 :

    • Visio in sign language
    • Chat
    • Voice/text feedback

    Contact the police or gendarmerie by instant messaging

    A chat room allows you to exchange with a police officer. At any time, these exchanges can be deleted from your history (computer, tablet, phone).

    💻Reporting domestic violence via chat

    👉 How do you leave the marital home for an abused mom?

    If you file a complaint against your abuser, he or she can be forced by the courts to leave the family home. If you wish to leave, file a report at the police station, which will justify your departure. You can also have a doctor or hospital check your injuries.

    If you do not have a place to take refuge, you can apply foremergency accommodation by calling 115 . The judge may then grant you the family home.

    If you obtain a protection order, you can be accompanied by associations to rehouse you. They have accommodation rented from HLM organizations. Payment facilities may also be granted to you.

    👉 Useful numbers and sites for victims of domestic violence

    24/24h - 7/7d A help service specialized in violence against women.

    116 006 Victimes
    Association of the France Victimes network

    Victims Course
    You will be guided through each step.

    Women's rights information center

    👉 Do you need help with this difficult situation?

    Contact a Noo Family expert by video, Monday to Saturday from 7am to 11pm.
    A social worker to accompany you and help you find a new home
    An onlinelawyer to know your rights
    An online psychologist to support you and listen to you

    We hope that this guide has helped you understand the support you are entitled to as a single parent!

    👉 Are you also looking for educational answers, or related to your new organization? You don't know where to start to rebuild your life, pro and love as a solo mom?

    Our article, " Solo mom: 10 (helpful 🙃) tips for moving forward!"

    👋 So lo dads, we don't forget about you 🙂

    Even though 82% of single-parent families are made up of solo moms, we know that there are also great solo dads! Soon an article dedicated to the solo dad, subscribe to be informed.

    🤝 F inally, our experts, familiar with single parent issues, are here for you:

    listening and support with an online psychologist
    concrete help to fill out a file with a social worker
    personalizedlegal advice with an online lawyer
    educational advice with a parenting coach
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    Book a video session , at your convenience:
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