Let's be clear: for a single parent the mental burden is multiplied!
Between the lack of time, the panic of doing something wrong, or forgetting something, some days are more complicated than others. When you are a single mum or dadmanaging everyday life is not always easy.
Even though every situation is different, we wanted to list some tips to get your head above water. It's high time to let go of the guilt, and let go, the perfect parent doesn't exist and it's much better that way 😊.
1 - We take care of ourselves
Far from being selfish this advice is essential!!! You know the metaphor of the oxygen mask when you fly?
"In case of cabin depressurisation, equip yourself with the oxygen mask that will fall in front of you. Only then can you help the people around you."
So to avoid mental overload, (and preserve our oxygen 😉) we release our guilt and give ourselves time just for ourselves.
When the children are at the other parent's house, when they are at school or at the nanny's, we take a break and opt for a moment of pleasure. This is essential to regain the energy and motivation to face the daily life.
If we are physically and mentally fit, we can more easily take care of our children.
2 - Knock out the mental load: we play it down!
Rarely do people choose to have a child with someone and then raise it alone. The situation of being a single parent, whether chosen or not, is often not the one you had originally envisaged.
But here we are, and there's no way we're going to let it get us down.
First of all, because recent studies show that growing up in a single-parent family does not alter the child's development, quite the contrary. So we breathe a sigh of relief and look on the bright side.
Secondly, single parenthood offers us the opportunity to :
- Creating strong bonds with our children.
👉 We learn to enjoy every moment, and we invent little rituals just for us to strengthen the complicity.
- Become the pros of organisation.
👉 Because we know better than anyone that every moment is precious.
Yes, sometimes being a single parent is good, and it's important to point that out, and own it 🙂
3 - Solo family: surround yourself with the right people
Being a single parent doesn't have to mean lone or depressed parenting! To catch your breath, (and strength 🙂 ), reduce the weight of responsibilities a little, you need to surround yourself with people you can count on.
If you think about it, we are all around us:
👉 A family member (parents, uncle, aunt, grandparents...) who is happy to babysit from time to time because "they are so cute!"
👉 A close friend always ready to party, have a drink. Or just to tell us two three gossips, just to leave the daily life aside. And watch quietly, evaporating before our eyes this (damn) mental load the time of a well deserved break 🙏
👉 A parent of a student who is willing to help us, pick up our child after school in exchange for a sleepover
👉 THE best friend who supports us morally day and night. And who reminds us how strong it is to manage everything alone with a masterful hand. 💪
👉 The mentor who offers us a neutral, confidential and professional space to help us move forward concretely.
Yeswe are more surrounded than we think, and we must take advantage of it!
4 - "Letting go: 1 - Guilt & mental load: 0" 😎
It's not a big deal if tonight it's a TV set, quite the opposite. Too bad if the vacuum cleaner hasn't been done this week, it will wait until the weekend.
And if this morning they left for school with bad hair, or with mismatched socks, we keep in mind that these details will not change their day (nor their future!). This is to say that we must know how to distinguish the essential from the trivial, and not add stress and unnecessary headaches.
The mental burden of women? Of those - or those! - who raise their child alone?
What a mental burden 😀
We let go! For every parent, in a couple or not, things rarely go as planned.
And that's fortunate 🙂. Because it's also this spontaneity, these impromptu program changes, that will create your most beautiful memories.
👉 you feel exhausted, at the end of your rope, crushed by the mental load and need a helping hand to move forward and rebuild yourself?
👉 Our single parenting experts are here for you, by video or phone, from 7am to 11pm.
Consult with a life coach online.
Jessica Abram for Noö Family.